Daily Weigh-ins are so Bad for Perspective

Even though I only post my weigh-ins once a week here, I am still doing the bad habit of weighing myself daily. And boy is that discouraging.

I stupidly weighed myself this morning and of course the scale was up. I had to remind myself that I hadn't finished my morning ritual, not to mention that I'm bloated right now (and for the next few days).  So of course my weight will be "up" by a lb or two. The goal is Saturday morning, which is still 4 mornings away. 

And I'm sore this morning. I'm struggling to motivate myself to do a workout, 'cause I really am just not feelin' it. But, I've got to keep going. 

Somehow I will push myself and my motivation today to do what needs doing. To get done what I always put aside because I have an excuse. 

I managed around 2 hours of sweaty work in the garage. Nothing back-breaking and I did pause every now and then. But, I was still active. Plus, I managed to knock out 3 minutes on the WaterRower. I know, I know. Only 3 minutes. But again, it's what I can manage right now and after my legs feel like noodles. I've got to build up.

I am a little frustrated that I did hit my full 30 points today and more importantly that I felt the need to hit my full points. Then again, I know that under eating isn't good either. My metabolism has got to be all kinds of screwed up, so I need to re build it from the ground up. That is part of this process.

I guess I am feeling a little down because Hubby is doing so good. And he doesn't have but about 20 more lbs to lose until his ultimate goal weight. When for me I have about 32 lbs more to lose before we go on our trip this summer and that's still 100 lbs away from my ultimate goal. It just feels so daunting sometimes. I'm just ready to have my belt/pants be loose like his. Or for people to recognize that I've lost weight like him. That and to actually weigh less than him. 

Water: 8 glasses
Workout: Garage Cleanup (2 hours), WaterRower (3 minutes)
Food

• Breakfast - Slim Fast Shake - 4 pts
• Lunch/Dinner - Homemade Crunchy Cheesey Burritos (4) - 16 pts
• Snacks - Chocolate Almond milk, PudgeFree brownie, WW Choc Cakes (2), WW Ice Cream cone  - 10 pts

Total pts: 30

Memorial Monday

"Bless those who serve our country in some capacity. May we honor you this day."

Well, I was able to hit at least one goal of mine for the week today. I managed to get through my dad's birthday lunch at a steakhouse without going crazy. Hubby and I tried to check the nutritional value of this restaurant, but they haven't posted it at all! Apparently even though the Federal Government has passed a law about posting Nutritional Information, it doesn't have a date on when a restaurant is required to do it by. 

So, we guess as best as we could. Hubby got the healthy version grilled chicken. I opted for the grilled chicken salad. I went easy on the dressing. It wasn't a bad salad and the chicken was really good. I also managed to stay away from the delectable, hot and buttery rolls available to everyone at the table. Color me surprised.

I started the day out at a decent hour and managed to make it through a Fire 30 class with TurboFire. I certainly didn't look like the class does on the video, but I hefted my fat girl 272 lbs around and sweated buckets. I did have to pause for an extra minute after the fire drills (1 minute of super intense cardio), but I did finish the workout! 

I really enjoyed lunch with my family. My grandpa is goofy as ever and it was odd to be celebrating my dad's 60th birthday. I told him he doesn't feel 60 to me. He liked that. LOL

We stopped by the cemetery to honor those who have gone before us. Even though it may be considered a sad thing, it is also very poignant to see all the flags flying across the fields.

After we got home from lunch I was feeling tired and not-so-good (a.k.a. women-ly ick) so I laid down with Hubby for a nap. I think another 3 hours of zzzzzz's helped, since now I am feeling some energy again.

I've got the next 2 days off still (YAY!) and besides my workouts, I would like to get some house work done. So there will be other ways of burning calories. I really need to hit my 5 lbs loss this week. I think I need it more for mental motivation than anything else.

Water: 8 glasses
Workout: Fire 30
Food

• Breakfast - Slim Fast Shake - 4 pts
• Lunch - Wood Grilled Chicken Salad - 8 pts (2 for the week!)
• Dinner - Baked Fries, Homemade Nachos (w/Baked Tostitos - 12 pts)
• Snacks - Chocolate Almond milk, PudgeFree brownie, Chips (Baked)/Salsa  - 6 pts

Total pts: 30

:~D

HellOOOO Resistance Band!

I'm feelin' really good today. High mood, high energy. Just Happy in general. 

Goals for the week:

• Lose 5 lbs - ending weight of 267.4 lbs (or lower!)
• Lose 1 inch overall
• Do NOT give in to cravings during days off
• During birthday lunch for dad - keep within my points for the day (05/27/13)
• Eat 3 salads during the week

Water: 8 glasses
Workout: Sculpt 30
Food

• Breakfast - Slim Fast Shake - 4 pts
• Lunch - Salad - 4 pts (1 for the week!)
• Dinner - Lean Cuisine Pizza (lil' extra cheese) and Ranch - 13 pts
• Snacks - Chocolate Almond milk, PudgeFree brownie, 1/2 Sugar/Cinnamon Muffin - 9 pts

Total pts: 30

I'd like to start a new week off with goals in mind. I enjoy finishing my week with a cheat day. Nice full circle type of feeling.

So, I won't be recording my weight or even inches. I plan to do that Saturday mornings (before I go crazy on the eating!). Plus, Saturday should also be my "rest" day for workouts, although it seems like now that its summer time, that will be the day to do yard work. While I won't be doing a traditional TurboFire workout, I will most definitely burn calories pushing that mower around. 

I've also got to add that yesterday our neighbors mentioned that Hubby looks like he's lost some weight. They can tell. *sad face* Yes, he has. In fact, Hubby has lost about 23 lbs so far. *throws confetti* Great for him. And he's only got about 25 lbs more to go. *throws more confetti* But for me, I've got so much left to lose. And even though I've lost 16 lbs at this point, on me it doesn't make much of a difference. Heck, my clothes aren't feeling that loose just yet. 

So, that is motivation for me to kick in my workout today. 

This morning I got out of bed about 1 hour later than planned, which is ok. As long as I have time before my shift to get my workout in - I'm good.

Todays workout was Sculpt 30 which used the Resistance Band. Wooooo-Weee! 

That was a workout!

It's always amazing to me how a tube of rubber could cause so much resistance! I really like the resistance band and am looking forward to seeing the results in my toned muscles.

I loved/hated feeling my arms shake during my reps. Or after. Or when stretching. ROFL

No, it's really a good thing. Means that I'm doing some challenging work with those muscles. And that's awesome. 

Oh - I do need to note one thing. The past 2 days areas of my neck have felt sore. Like, under my chin area. So weird! I thought maybe I stretched it too far or something. Then, while doing my sculpt workout, Chalene reminded the ladies to not flex their necks and keep them relaxed. Aha! I've got to remember to keep my neck relaxed so I don't pull muscles in it while doing arm/shoulder exercises. That must be it.

Because we all know this wouldn't look very sexy (on a woman): 

:~D

Love my cheat day!

Weight: 272.4 lb

Food: 

• yummy buttered movie popcorn
• Smoked mozzarella fonduta
• Fettuccine Alfredo
• Bread sticks
• Peach Tea
• Cheeseburger, fries, dt. Coke
• Single Brownie fudge sundae (OM nom nom nom nom)

Workout: 1 hour of push mower

This is the one day a week hubby and I are allowing ourselves to blow the diet (so to speak). It's a chance for us to get in our cravings for the week. We went to see Star Trek: Into Darkness at our local movie theater. Great movie, by the way! But, when we go to the theater, I always must get buttered theater popcorn. ALWAYS.

Of course, I'd bury my face in the bag if I didn't feel like that could possibly draw unwanted attention to myself. LOL

So, we ended up with a Medium size bag and a Dt. Coke. Oddly enough I was fine with just the medium. Hubby had a handful of popcorn. Let me be clear that usually I could down a large popcorn and be happy as a clam. We noticed that at the last movie we went to a few weeks ago, I still had about 1/2 the bag left. 

Progress? Possibly. I'll take it!

Then, we headed to Olive Garden and I just had to fill myself up with lots of cream and cheese. Wanted to make sure that the fiber I'd been trying to get in during the week had something to play with! LOL

And even though the weekend days are supposed to be no workout days (or have been) I convinced Hubby that we really needed to work on our front yard. It was desperate to be mowed. And let me tell you, we have a HUGE front corner lot yard. So, while Hubby edged and weed-eated, I push mowed and bagged the front yard. It takes about 1 hour. Great calorie burner. 

We then ended up hanging with our neighbors, I tried hummus (whoa!), it was decent. And for our "dinner" we ran to Braums to get a burger/fry combo. We both also added a single sundae for our sweet treat of the day. 

All in all, not too bad. I hope that in the long run, I won't feel the need to have a cheat day once a week. Maybe over time switch to every two weeks or just once a month. 

But for now - I LOVE my cheat days. 

:~D

I despairingly increased my highest weight ever

At one time in my life, my highest weight ever was 232 lbs. I have a picture from that time and boy, do I think I looked hideous.

Then, over the years (and yo-yo weight) my highest weigh ever made it to 264 lbs. At this point, although I felt terrible, the picture I have of that time isn't too bad. Better make-up, lighting, clothes? Who knows. Of course, the picture is only a head shot. That could be it. ;-)

The unthinkable happened. I swore to myself that I would never see, nor go higher than 264 lbs. Ha ha hahahahahahaha. Right D. Right.

Now, I would KILL to see 264 lbs. Actually, my biggest kill-to-see goal is 232 lbs. Cray cray. Just cray cray.

My highest weight ever - 289 lbs. *gasp* {look of sheer horror} Yep, that's right. A mere 11 lbs away from the big 'ol 3 bills. Insane in the brain.

What?! Almost 300 lbs! (and yes, I had to acknowledge that) How in the bloody HELL did I get *here! Wait, maybe the scale is broken. No. Maybe the batteries are failing. No. Am I going blind? Did my Lasek finally give up?! No. 

My dress size was all the confirmation I needed. I was up to a size 26 at this point and starting to squeak out of that. Egads. I had to do something.

So, fortunately, I had a major job change. I now work from home! Yay! This will be my saving grace. I no longer will easily be able to head to a fast-food joint for lunch. Not just saving money, but precious calories too. And, I will dwindle down my available excuses for not being able to work out AT HOME. Because, HELLO - I will be at home. ;-)

Thank the Lord - as of today, I am down 16.2 lbs. I am weighing in at an inspiring 272.8 lbs. Plus, I now have workout/diet buddies (husband and long-distance friend) and a major goal set in mind for less than 8 weeks from now. 

PLAN

Diet: Husband and I have started on a loose version of the Weight Watcher points, mainly to help keep us in line with eating throughout the week. We use Saturday's as our "cheat day" and get all our cravings in.

Currently my points value (not plus system) are 30 a day.

Exercise (groan): I have restarted the TurboFire schedule. It is a very high intense, super fun cardio that I know will work for me. And I enjoy doing it. AND it has it's own defined 9 week plan (no thinking on my part is a good thing). There are so many variations of workout, cardio, yoga, strength, etc that it keeps me on my toes.

Also, I will be incorporating walks and our WaterRower. Go. Me.

MOTIVATION

Motivation/Goal #1 - Be at 240 lbs by July 15th, 2013. This is for our possible family summer trip, where Husband and I hope to be able to ZipLine. I have to be under 250 lbs in order to do it, so I figured at 240 lbs I would feel comfortable enough to go.

Motivation/Goal #2 - Working at home and my new schedule allow me FREEDOM to eat at home (a.k.a. healthier) and work out in the mornings when no one is around/awake. So I can get crazy with my bad self, sweaty and panting on the floor. This is a good thing.

Motivation/Goal #3 - Husband is wanting to lose weight too. Albeit, he only has like 25 lbs more to go *grumpy cat face* and already weighs about 20 lbs less than I do. That is not a good feeling for me. Weighing more than my husband (and I am only 5'4!) is not fun. 

But, he loves me as I am no matter and wants to see me succeed as well. He knows I'm unhappy at this weight. So, we are eating healthier together and I even managed to get him out on a walk around our neighborhood recently. 

And now, I am at the end of the ridiculous entry, much longer than I anticipated and I haven't even gotten to my 'stats yet. Oy vey.

Here is what I plan to post each day/week to keep myself accountable: 

Weight: 272.8 (then weekly beginning on 05/25/13)

Water: 8 glasses

Workout: 30 minute 1 mile walk through neighborhood

Food: 

• Breakfast - Slim fast shake (high protein) w/skim milk: 4 pts
• Lunch - Subway Turkey sandwich (slight bit of Ranch): 10.5 pts
• Dinner - Baked fries - 4 pts
• Snacks - Almond Chocolate Milk ( 8 oz): 2 pts, PudgeFree brownie: 2pts

     Total pts: 22.5

Inches (weekly from 05/21/13)

• Neck - 16
• Arms - 16.5
• Wrist - 6.5
• Chest - 41.5
• Upper Waist (spare tire) - 55
• Waist (belly button) - 50
• Hips - 59
• Thigh - 31.5
• Calf - 18.5

Notes: 

I loved walking with hubby and pugs today through the neighborhood. Weather lately has been rainy/stormy and today it was so nice. I managed to get us to a mile, although not as quick as I'd have liked. But, with the pugs, it's hard to power walk. *grin

I hope to convince Hubby to go on these walks once a week. I think it's very beneficial to a couple to do some workouts together. It will help keep us both motivated and it's great bonus time for us as a couple. Plus, the pugs LOVED it. 

:~D

Hoping this is my Last Do-Over (for the 87th time)

Where to begin.

At the beginning? No. Too easy.

At the middle? No. Doesn't work.

Well, bottom line is. I'm back. Again. For around the 87th time that I swear I'm going to get this weight-loss thing right. Bah. And I'm not a big fan of pessimism, but I really feel a good dose of it floating around in the air right now. Blech. It tastes sour. And not that good, Sour Patch Kids candy kind of sour.

Why is this time different?

Well, I could sit here and drivel on about how this time it WILL be different, that I have a totally different attitude (I don't) and how my willpower is stronger (it isn't), blah, blah, blah.

Enough already.

I don't know if this time will be different. I want to believe that it will. But I am so tired of re-writing these absolutely inspiring, uplifting, rah rah rah, blogs that are meant to be a spectacular start to something great.

Because, I've done so many of these do-overs with weight loss. And honestly, I don't know WHY this time it will be different.

I know, I know - why be so negative. You aren't going to start on a good foot. You are knocking yourself down before you even get going. Be positive. If you make it work this time, it WILL work.

Yadda, Yadda, Yadda.

So. Why am I even here? Because circumstances are very different for me this time. And I really DO need this weight loss to finally work. I need it to finally make a difference in my life and to stick around. And I know I can actually do this.

{wait, is that a note of optimism I hear?!}

Here's to the journey. *raises a glass of water

~D